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Advancing Women Newsletter
Ego and Armoury
09/02/2009 Someone I barely know recently asked if I was still 'raging about injustices to women?' I've never considered myself a 'rager' (in any sense of the word!)
I have the rather foolish and embarrassingly smug view that I'm grounded, thoughtful, passionately committed but definitely even tempered and pragmatic. I would never exhibit rage publicly!
So it was a complete ego jolt to hear that someone had a different view of me than the one I'd created for myself. Defensively, I rebutted the comment with ill-considered haste.
I've now recovered from the slight to my ego and am grateful for the offhand but valuable feedback. Clearly my 'passionate commitment' can be misinterpreted and I must consider how I present my opinions in the future.
Honest feedback takes courage and genuine concern for someone else's development – or in my case, not caring less. To hear and absorb that feedback requires us to move beyond the persona we've created, drop our defensive armour –and ignore the protective talk of our egos.
For women to survive the often lonely pursuit of executive success they need to develop skins thick enough to defend them from others' envy, territorial undermining behaviour, destructive criticism and their own self doubt.
But it's a double edged sword.
Those who are too well defended -
* unwittingly protect themselves from useful feedback
* work harder in the pursuit of 'perfection'
* are sure they'll soon be exposed as a fraud
* appear to lack empathy and compassion for others
* are lonely.
There are many excellent reasons why women unconsciously don thick armour as they progress up an often thorny ladder. However it must not become who we are!
If you wear it, take it off every now and then and notice how much lighter you feel. If you know someone who wears it, pretend it's not there. Notice how human and vulnerable that person really is.
Deborah
Welcome to my new subscribers. If you like this newsletter, send it to a friend.
Thought Provoker
'The unexamined life is not worth living.' Socrates
Tip - Play by the unwritten rules
Catalyst's latest research exposes the 'unwritten rules' for career success.
The first rule is to network and build relationships within and outside the organisation.
To do this you could -
* nominate for high visibility assignments
* volunteer for cross organisational projects
* share good news stories with the boss and your colleagues
* talk to people you share things in common with at work – kids at same school, leadership programs, associations etc
* call someone whose work you've heard about and arrange to meet to discuss it
*attend training programs and presentations and talk to people
* participate in community and sporting events
* attend work social functions
* join an industry or professional association
* attend school/alum reunions
* chat to people in workplace kitchens
* participate in mentoring programs
* nominate for conferences, seminars and forums.
Download my summary of Catalyst's unwritten rules.
Upcoming Workshops
Upcoming Women's Workshops
1. Develop your self-confidence: Stand Firm Stand Tall! (2nd April)
2. Assertive communication: Speak Up Speak Out! (21st May)
3. Career strategies: Step Up Step Out! (25th June)
Attend all three to receive one hour FREE coaching session (valued at $440)
1. Develop your self-confidence: Stand Firm Stand Tall! (2nd April)
Learn how to
* create a positive self-image
* take greater risks
* clarify your life purpose
* feel less embarrassed
* reduce anxiety and fear
* avoid self–sabotage
* project confidence and self assurance
* achieve career success and satisfaction
Venue to be confirmed upon registration. Workshop Fee: $550
Register now!
2. Assertive communication: Speak Up Speak Out! (21st May)
Learn
* the power of self-belief
* the difference between confidence and competence
* to identify aggressive, submissive and assertive behaviour
* to say no and live through it!
* to give and receive honest, relevant and effective feedback
* to negotiate effectively
* to get heard & be noticed.
Venue to be confirmed upon registration. Workshop Fee: $550
Register now!
3. Career strategies: Step Up Step Out! (25th June)
Learn
* to clarify and share your aspirations
* the barriers and drivers of career success
* the unwritten rules required to advance your career
* to work less and still get ahead
* to use organisational politics to your advantage
* to brag without feeling embarrassed
* build networks and find mentors
* to develop a good career plan.
Venue to be confirmed upon registration. Workshop Fee: $550
Register now!
In the News
Research published in the Journal of Financial Economics has again confirmed that 'female directors lift the performance of corporate boards and are more likely to turn up to meetings.'
McKinsey in their report, 'Women Matter', document their findings that organisations with three or more women in senior management functions outperform those with less.
Research continues to confirm the value women make to the bottom line. Surely in this economic quagmire, CEOs should pay attention to the composition of their teams and take advantage of this compelling (but hardly new) research?
Q & A
Q: How do I effectively manage an employee who works 3 days in the office and two at home? I want to support her arrangements and prove to my colleagues that flexibility works.
A: Too many women over-commit, over-compensate and under-deliver in their quest to prove flexible or part time work arrangements won't affect their performance.
In the attempt to be efficiently productive, inadequate time is allocated to clarify expectations, review performance, discuss issues and solicit support. As a result, problems are hidden or escalate.
Managing staff requires open communication, clear expectations, trust, respect, devolvement of responsibility and accountability.
It's no different for a part-time employee but it requires more planning and structure.
Before your staff member begins, ensure there is explicit and documented agreement about her role, responsibilities and deliverables.
Ensure that all team members understand her role and know when she's expected in the office. Engage the whole team to discuss and determine how to manage issues that arise on the days she is absent. Agree to hold all team meetings on a day she is in the office.
Schedule a weekly review meeting with your flexible staff member to
* agree outcomes for that week
* review progress towards goals
* discuss issues and challenges
* provide feedback.
As her supervisor, promote her work and achievements to your boss and to her team mates. The more you share her successes and engage others in her work arrangements, the less her absence will be noticed or criticised.
Send me your question.
Testimonials
"Sometimes someone comes along at the right time to inspire and encourage. I was feeling frustrated and demotivated and at a crossroads professionally. I seemed to have lost focus on my goals and had actually spent the weekend re-reading and re-listening to some of my motivational gurus.
Your talk this morning reminded me that I really can do it if I just take the first step." Carolyn
"She's a career fairy godmother" - Suzanne Knight, ANU
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